BonyJimy

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Louis van Gaal's two-year tenure at Manchester United came to a close on Monday morning as he was relieved of his managerial duties.

The Dutchman's time at Old Trafford has contained many ups and downs with players, fans and journalists.

Here, Sportsmail looks back at 10 of his madcap moments as Red Devils boss.

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Louis van Gaal has been sacked by Manchester United just two days after leading the club to the FA Cup

Dossier about Sam Allardyce's long-ball claims

Following United's 1-1 draw at West Ham during the 2014-15 season, then-Hammers boss Sam Allardyce claimed that the visitors were long-ball merchants - much to Van Gaal's irk.

In his next press conference, Van Gaal unleashed a staunch defence of United's tactics.

In front of stunned journalists, he handed out leaflets containing statistical analysis that, according to him, showed that Allardyce was wrong.

The horrified look on a press officer's face when he produced his sheets of paper said it all.

'I have made an interpretation of the data for this game and then I have to say that it is not a good interpretation from Big Sam,' he quipped.

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In February last year, Van Gaal made a point about United's long-ball football with some visual aids

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Van Gaal's evidence was in retaliation to Sam Allardyce's comments about the Red Devils' style of play

Speech at 2014-15 end-of-season awards

The Dutchman has never been shy of expressing himself and his end-of-season speech last year, certainly testified that.

Van Gaal, who had earlier in the evening clipped assistant manager Ryan Giggs around the ear for attempting to outbid him in an auction for a round of golf with ex-Reds star Dwight Yorke, took the stage at the end of the night to deliver a memorable speech.

Akin to Winston Churchill at times, Van Gaal's speech soon became a viral hit.

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The manager's antics at United's Player of the Year awards dinner attracted plenty of attention last year

Bust-up with Victor Valdes

Van Gaal's signing of Victor Valdes seemed shrewd business in his first season. The former Barcelona goalkeeper was a trusted ally after building a rapport with him for 13 years.

However, that sentiment went out of the window when he confirmed that the exit door was looming for the Spain international after he apparently refused to play for the reserves.

'Last season, he refused to play in the second team and there are other aspects you need as a keeper at United,' Van Gaal said during the pre-season tour of America last summer.

'When you are not willing to follow those principles, there is only one way and that is out.'

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Van Gaal's long relationship with Victor Valdes soon evaporated after signing him at Old Trafford

Calling Chris Smalling, 'Mike'

Having been at Old Trafford for a season, you would've assumed that Van Gaal knew his players pretty well - including their names. You would be wrong.

During last summer's pre-season tour of America, the Dutchman appeared to get his wires crossed when he referred to Chris Smalling as 'Mike'.

Van Gaal made the gaffe whilst on the subject of various captain's roles he has allocated at the club, but was quick to realise his error when a journalist addressed the defender immediately after.

'I think he is a great captain, better than I had expected and he is fully expected by the players and that is also very important because I can choose but the players decide,' Van Gaal said.

'That's my philosophy, the players have to accept the captain – the first captain is Wayne Rooney, the second captain is Michael Carrick and last year the third captain was Mr Mike Smalling, sorry, I mean Chris Smalling.'

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Van Gaal and Chris Smalling share a chuckle after the manager called him 'Mike' during pre-season last year

Louis van Gaal's army!

Groans of discontent among the Old Trafford faithful had begun to grow as United dropped five points from their opening four Premier League games this season.

Ahead of their next match against bitter rivals Liverpool, Van Gaal insisted the Red Devils were fully behind him - imitating them with a rendition of their song about him.

'The fans are shouting every week, "Louis van Gaal's army! Louis van Gaal's army!", so also the fans are very satisfied with Louis van Gaal and my players are also satisfied with me,' he said.

He even slapped his hands to replicate the noise made by United supporters as they chanted his name. Eccentric indeed.

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Van Gaal shouts 'Louis van Gaal's army' during a press conference ahead of facing Liverpool in September

Enjoy the wine and a mince pie!

By December, questions surrounding Van Gaal's future at Old Trafford had intensified following a winless run of six matches.

Angered by speculation that he could be replaced by Jose Mourinho, he came out fighting in a 4min 58sec press conference ahead of their Boxing Day clash at Stoke City.

'I think I was already sacked, I read,' said a fuming Van Gaal. 'My colleague (Mourinho) was here already.

'What do you think happens with my wife or with my kids or with my grandchildren or with the fans of Manchester United or my friends? They have called me a lot of times.

'Has anybody in this room not a feeling to apologise to me? That’s what I’m wondering.

‘So you think that I want to talk with the media now? I am here only because of the Premier League rules.'

As he concluded his rant, Van Gaal finished with: 'Enjoy the wine and a mince pie. Goodbye.'

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In December, Van Gaal stormed out of his press conference - which lasted less than five minutes

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Van Gaal wished the media a Merry Christmas before getting up to leave the press conference early

Van Gaal vs 'fat man' journalist

Just weeks after his festive rant at the press, Van Gaal chose not to mince his words once again.

The Dutchman refused to talk about his captain Wayne Rooney who had scored twice in their 3-3 draw at Newcastle.

However, before leaving the room a visibly irate Van Gaal turned around, pointed at Sun reporter Neil Custis and delivered his insult.

When it was put to Van Gaal, 'Wayne Rooney has taken a lot of criticism this season...' he interrupted the question and stood up before saying: 'We don’t speak any more about Wayne Rooney, yeah? You have criticised him, I don’t. You.'

Van Gaal then overheard an exchange between reporters and returned to the press room, adding, 'You too, fat man, there,' pointing at the journalist and suggesting he was among those who had been critical of Rooney.

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The Manchester United manager called a journalist 'fat' after his Newcastle press conference in January

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Van Gaal made the remark after refusing to discuss criticism of his captain and striker, Wayne Rooney

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Reporter Neil Custis, who was the subject of the insult, appears on Sky's Sunday Supplement

Wanting 'horny' players

'We have to keep the ball better and we have to move the ball quicker – that's always what we have to do. Desire... it is a great word. I often use the word "horny" with my players.'

Looking for inspiration against Midtjylland in the Europa League round of 32 second leg, Van Gaal sought an unusual reaction from his team to overturn a 2-1 deficit.

It worked though as United ploughed the Danish side's defence throughout the match to win the second leg 5-1 and progress 6-3 on aggregate.

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Van Gaal smiles with Juan Mata after calling for his United players to be 'horny' against Midtjylland in February

Falling over against Arsenal

Van Gaal has been criticised for showing a lack of passion on the touchline by the Red Devils faithful but the Dutchman showed plenty during their 3-2 Premier League win over Arsenal in February.

In a peculiar but funny moment, Van Gaal was seen hurling himself to the ground after a discussion with fourth official, Mike Dean.

Unhappy at the perceived theatrics of Arsenal's Alexis Sanchez, the United boss made his feelings clear to Dean by mocking his actions on the touchline.

His colourful protest drew an enormous cheer from United fans, and even a sporadic and rare outburst of 'Louis van Gaal's red-and-white army' from the Stretford End.

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Van Gaal sparked a peculiar but funny moment during Manchester United's win over Arsenal in February

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The United manager watches from the touchline as Arsenal were awarded a free-kick at Old Trafford

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Unhappy with decisions going in Arsenal's favour, Van Gaal remonstrated with Mike Dean

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In doing so the Dutchman threw himself to the ground, mocking his view at how easy Arsenal were going down

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Van Gaal sprawled his arm out on to the turf as the Old Trafford crowd cheered their manager's protestations

'Sex masochism'

Following this month's 1-1 draw at home to eventual Premier League champions Leicester City, Van Gaal pulled a Sky Sports reporter's hair in a bizarre post-match interview.

Van Gaal's action was in relation to his perceived view of Robert Huth's act on Marouane Fellaini which saw both players slapped with three-match bans by the FA for violent conduct.

The United manager wanted to get his point across after being asked by Patrick Davison about an incident between his midfielder and the Leicester City defender - describing it as only acceptable in 'sex masochism'.

'When you see what Huth is doing to Fellaini, that's a penalty,' Van Gaal told Sky Sports. 'Shall I grab you by your hair? What is your reaction when I grab your hair?

'Your hair is shorter than Fellaini but when I do that, what are you doing then? It's a reaction.

'Every human being who is grabbed by the hair, only with sex masochism, then it is allowed but not in other situations. They did it. They did it several times I think.

'Huth was the guy who grabbed the hair of Fellaini. I think the reaction of Fellaini is like a human being. He is always like that.'

The Dutchman pulled a Sky Sports reporter's hair as he got his point across about Marouane Fellaini in May

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The Manchester United manager pictured putting his hand towards the reporter while answering his question

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Van Gaal said: 'Shall I grab you by your hair? What is your reaction when I grab your hair?'

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Robert Huth (right) pictured grabbing Fellaini's hair during an incident at Old Trafford on May 1

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Fellaini swings his elbow into the chin of Huth after the defender pulled the midfield hair

IT’S A PROCESS, IT’S A PHILOSOPHY NA NJOZI MBAYA ZA VAN GAAL JIJINI MANCHESTER

Hakuna jambo jema kama kuacha kazi mwenyewe kuliko kufukuzwa au kuondolewa. Aliwahi kusema Van Gaal pale alipohusishwa kufukuzwa na Manchester United kupitia tetesi za vyombo vya habari.

Kauli hiyo ya Van Gaal ilikuwa ni mwendelezo wa stori ya Chifu Mkwawa tuliyosoma wakati tupo shule, pale alipoamua kujinyonga kuliko kukamatwa na Wajerumani. Inaonekana alifahamu angekufa kwa mateso makubwa sasa ya nini ateswe wakati uwezo wa kujiondoa mwenyewe anao!? Lakini haikuwa hivyo kwa Mdachi huyo aliyeendelea na kazi yake pale jijini Manchester.

LVG ni mmoja wa makocha wenye misimamo mikali na jambo au kitu anachokisimamia. Hapendi kuyumbishwa au kuendeshwa. Misimamo yake hii ilimfanya kukosana na watu wengi na misimamo yake hiyohiyo ilimpa ushujaa mwingi katika maisha yake. Hiyo ni moja ya sifa ya mwanaume kusimama juu ya kitu anachokiamini. Lakini LVG wa Manchester United ameshindwa kusimama juu ya kauli yake ya kujiondoa mwenyewe kazini hadi pale alipoondolewa. Kama atakuwa anakumbuka maneno yake hayo anaweza akalia kuliko yule Petro aliyemkana Yesu kwa kushindwa kusimama kwenye misimamo yake.

Sidhani kama LVG ataondoka Manchester United kama alivyoingia. Aliingia na matumaini makubwa ya kuisimamisha tena United ambayo ilikuwa imefia mikono mwa David Moyes lakini anaondoka kichwa chini.

Amefeli. Msimu wa kwanza wa LVG ulikuwa wa kuirudisha United katika nafasi nne za juu, alifanikiwa kwa asilimia zote. Msimu wa pili alitakiwa kuifanya United iwe moja ya timu inayogombania makombe na kushinda hususani makombe ya ndani na jukumu la kumaliza nafasi nne za juu ni lazima. Katika msimu wa pili United ameshinda kombe la FA na amemaliza nafasi ya tano. LVG Amefeli tena. Kama van Gaal angeendelea na msimu wa tatu alitakiwa kuifanya kugombania makombe yote atakayoshiriki. Sababu kubwa United kumuondoa LVG ni kukosa nafasi ya kushiriki michuano ya Ulaya ni nje ya makubaliano yao ya kwenye mkataba.

Maisha ya LVG yalikuwa magumu Manchester United tangu ile siku ya kwanza waliyocheza na Swansea. Maisha yaliendelea kuwa mabaya zaidi siku waliyocheza na MK Dons hiyo yote ni kutokana na kuibadilisha Manchester United kutoka kwenye staili yao waliyokuwa nayo kwa miaka mingi na kuingiza staili mpya ambayo haijawahi kutumiwa na Manchester United. LVG alileta mfumo mpya wa kumiliki mpira kwa kupiga pasi nyingi lakini mbaya zaidi timu yake ilikuwa inacheza pasi nyingi za kurudi nyuma kuliko kwenda mbele.

Tangu yupo Ajax LVG ni muumini mkubwa wa mpira wa pasi lakini tofauti na huku Manchester United timu zake zilikuwa zinafunga magoli ya kutosha na kuruhusu machache. Jambo bora la LVG kwa timu ya United ni muendelezo wake wa kutoa nafasi kwa vijana ambao wanazalishwa na timu hiyo pia kufanya usajili wa wachezaji wenye umri wa wastani kwa ajili ya matumizi ya muda mrefu.

Wakati vyombo vya habari vikijaribu kuukosoa mfumo wa LvG katika timu ya Manchester United alijitetea kwa kusema “It’s a process. My philosophy needs time” akimaanisha “Ni mchakato, falsafa yangu inahitaji muda”. Hata Roma haikujengwa kwa siku moja, binafsi niliamini Van Gaal angeutumia msimu wake wa kwanza kuisoma ligi ya England na kisha msimu wa pili kurudi akiwa amejipanga sawia kupambana na wapinzani lakini bado alisimamia msemo wa falsafa zake ambazo zinahitaji muda zaidi, timu kama United ni timu inayojiendesha kibiashara zaidi kutegemea mikataba ya wadhamini mbalimbali duniani pamoja na kuwa na mashabiki wengi duniani lakini kukosa kushiriki michuano mikubwa ya Ulaya ni kuisababishia timu hasara.

Van Gaal kaacha mambo mengi ya kukumbukwa hasa katika usajili wa Tony Martial ambaye amegeuka kuwa kipenzi cha mashabiki wa timu hiyo. Kila alichofanya kiligeuka kuwa kinyesi hakiwavutia mashabiki zaidi ya wapinzani ambao walikuwa wanafurahi anguko la United. Katika kazi ya ukocha ya LVG hii hatoweza kuisahau. It’s a process. It’s philosoph

source shaffihdauda.

Jose Mourinho would be 'fantastic' for Man Utd - Carlo Ancelotti

Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho — Jose Mourinho won one La Liga title for Real Madrid and came second to Pep Guardiola's Barcelona twice

Jose Mourinho would be a "fantastic signing" if he becomes Manchester United manager, says Carlo Ancelotti.

United are in talks with the Portuguese coach, 54, to replace Dutchman Louis van Gaal, who was sacked on Monday.

"In the last year, Manchester United has lost its identity," Ancelotti, 56, told BBC Sport pundit Jermaine Jenas.

Meanwhile, Old Trafford legend Eric Cantona says new Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola would have been a better fit for United than Mourinho.

City confirmed in February that Guardiola would take over this summer.

"I would have loved to have seen Guardiola at Manchester United. He is in Manchester, but at the wrong one," Cantona told the Guardian on his 50th birthday.

"Guardiola was the one to take. He is the spiritual son of Johan Cruyff. He is the only one to change Manchester United.

"I love Jose Mourinho, but in terms of the type of football he plays, I don't think he is Manchester United."

Cantona also said he loves Mourinho's "personality, passion and humour" but does not think he plays the type of football that Manchester United fans will love.

Eric Cantona and Sir Alex Ferguson — Eric Cantona won four Premier League titles and two FA Cups under Sir Alex Ferguson

Mourinho's agent Jorge Mendes flew into London on Tuesday morning and is leading discussions with the club.

An official announcement on Mourinho taking over from Van Gaal - who won the FA Cup in his last game - is expected this week.

If he is confirmed in the role, he will renew his rivalry with Guardiola, who was Barcelona boss when Mourinho was in charge at Real Madrid.

Speaking to former England midfielder Jenas for the BBC's Football Focus,former Chelsea manager Ancelotti said: "Mourinho will be a fantastic signing for United to improve and be better than the last two years.

"The job of Van Gaal was not easy, he had to rebuild the team.

"Sir Alex Ferguson and a lot of the players left so they have to rebuild the identity and the personality of the team. It takes time. In football, you need time to build something."

Kama girlfriend wako hafanyi mambo haya, kuna tatizo

Kama girlfriend wako hafanyi haya unaweza kuanza kufikiria upya uhusiano wako:

1. Ni shabiki wako namba moja, siku zote

Kama haungi mkono kila hatua unayopiga kwenye maisha yako na yote unayotaka kufanya ni muda wa kufikiria upya uhusiano huo. Haijalishi ni kitu gani unafanya, ni muhimu awe nyuma yako kukupa support.

2. Anakupa muda wa kupumua

Kuna tofauti kati ya kujali na kuwa kupe. Ni kawaida kwake kukuangalia hapa na pale kujua siku yako inaendaje, lakini kama anatokea tu hovyo kazini kwako kila siku, hiyo inaweza kuwa ni issue.

3. Anakubali marafiki zako – ama walau anajifanya kuwajali

Kama hawapendi marafiki zako, hakuna jinsi utaweza kuchagua kati yao na yeye. Kama anakulazimisha kuchagua kati ya pande hizi mbili basi ni muda wa kumwacha aende. Kama anakupenda kweli hatakufanya uchague kati yao na yeye.

4. Anaipenda familia yako kama unavyoipenda

Hili ni muhimu. Kama haelewani na ndugu zako ni ngumu sana kudumu naye. Kama familia yako ni muhimu zaidi kwako atapenda kuwa karibu nao kama unavyopenda. Kama huleta ugomvi kila mnapoenda kwa wazazi wako ama anapokupa visingizio vya kutoenda, basi hakufai.

5. Yuko tayari kwa lolote, ilimradi yuko nawe

Hii ina maana kuwa anakuwa tayari na ameridhika kuwa nawe. Kama kila siku analalamika juu ya vyote unavyotaka kufanya huenda hamko kwenye ukurasa mmoja.

6. Anakupenda kama ulivyo

Kama mara zote huudhiwa na vitu kuhusu kadhaa kuhusu wewe, huenda akawa anataka kukubadilisha na sio kukupenda kama ulivyo. Kama huna uhakika kuwa anakupenda ulivyo, basi ni muda wa kusonga mbele.

Manchester United star Juan Mata hoping to build bridges with Jose Mourinho but David de Gea's future remains unclear

Manchester United midfielder Juan Mata wants to resolve his differences with Jose Mourinho and stay at the club but the new manager may face a struggle to keep goalkeeper David de Gea at Old Trafford.

The future of Spanish playmaker Mata has been unclear since it emerged that Mourinho is set to replace Louis van Gaal.

During his recent spell at Chelsea, Mourinho ostracised Mata from the first-team picture, despite the Spanish midfielder having been voted as the club's player of the season during the previous campaign.

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Juan Mata is hopeful of speaking with Jose Mourinho as he closes on the Manchester United job

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The Portuguese is expected to take over at Old Trafford following the sacking of Louis van Gaal on Monday

Chelsea sold Mata to Manchester United in January 2014, as Mourinho discarded the Spaniard from his plans within six months of joining Chelsea. Sources close to Mata, however, insisted that the player does not perceive the situation to be irreparable with Mourinho.

It is understood that Mata is open and keen to hold talks with Mourinho and extend his stay at Old Trafford, where he has become a popular figure in the dressing room

He is also very happy living in the Cheshire suburbs and his father has recently opened a new restaurant in Manchester. He is not actively seeking a move elsewhere but it would also require compromise on the part of Mourinho in order for Mata to remain a central figure at Old Trafford.

Mata is in Manchester this week as he reorganises his summer holiday plans after missing out on a place in Vicente del Bosque's Spain squad for the European Championship this summer.

He intends to return to his hometown of Asturias in Northern Spain and spend several weeks with his family.

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The Spaniard scored the equalising goal at Wembley Stadium as United won the FA Cup in extra time

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Mata was sold to the Red Devils by Mourinho during his time at Chelsea but he hopes to resolve differences

Mata, who scored the equaliser in the FA Cup final win against Crystal Palace, is determined to rediscover his best form next term and wants to make a big impression in pre-season.

Meanwhile, Mata's Spanish compatriot De Gea shares the same agent as Mourinho, the Portuguese representative Jorge Mendes, but Sportsmail understands that this will not guarantee the goalkeeper will remain a Manchester United player.

It is, however, true that United's chances of keeping De Gea have been increased by the managerial change.

Is Ronaldo out of the Champions League final? Real star breaks down in training just four days before clash with Atletico in Milan

Cristiano Ronaldo gives Real Madrid a Champions League final injury scare as he limps out

Cristiano Ronaldo hobbled out of training just four days before the Champions League final amid concerned looks from team-mates. Ronaldo went up for the ball with Madrid's reserve team keeper Kike Casilla and fell down in a heap. When he didn't get back to his feet he was attended to by several member of Real Madrid's medical staff and finally hobbled away from the training pitch with ten minutes left of the session.